After two days, the Good Men Picks bracket is 19-15. We’re in the 10th percentile, which, um, is absolutely terrible. But, we still have all of our Final Four teams left, and they all won by at least 15 points. So, all’s not lost.
In case you’re just back from a trip to outer space or a family vacation to a local nuclear bomb shelter, let us catch you up on some of the biggest storylines thus far.
Even a tournament can wear itself out: Of the first five games in the tournament, four were decided by buzzer-beaters. Kentucky, Butler, Morehead State, and Temple all won games on shots in the last five seconds. But day one ended quietly without any close games, except fot a Kansas State–Utah State matchup that was more annoying than actually competitive.
Day two had only one last-second finish (no, the Washington game doesn’t count), with George Mason edging Villanova late on. Thankfully, Gus Johnson was on the call, making the game 100 times more exciting than it actually was:
But other than Johnson’s head almost exploding again—and a Derrick Williams block with his armpit—there wasn’t much madness as the first—er, sorry—second round came to a close. So, if you’ve been unimpressed with the tournament after the first five games, you have a right to complain. Actually, no you don’t. Shut up. You’re watching sports all day. Every game could be a 40-point blowout, and it would still be awesome. Well, maybe not, but you’d still be watching.
The president is better than you: Sure, it’s been a tournament short on upsets … so far. If you had a robot fill out your bracket, advancing all the top sedes, you’d be 26-7—not to mention, you’d be completely wasting the capabilities of your robot. But President Obama, a notorious front-runner, is 30-3. He’s in the 100th percentile, somewhere in the top 500 of all brackets nationally.
Random thoughts: Go away, Sheen. OK, we’ll give VCU a pass. Big hands will win the national championship. Free throws are pointless. And Sriracha!
Scientific predictions for Saturday: Yes, the NCAA tournament is totally unpredictable, but here are some things that I’m pretty sure will happen during today’s games:
- The Florida-UCLA game will not be decided by a fight between an actual bear and an alligator.
- Rick Pitino will not be coaching when Morehead State plays Richmond.
- Someone will make a joke about Aztecs and temples during the San Diego State–Temple game.
- In the Pittsburgh-Butler game, someone will lose, either by a point or more.
- Jimmer Fredette will score more points than Brandon Davies against Gonzaga
- A coach in the Wisconsin–Kansas State game will be mad at some point.
- A Big East team will win the UConn-Cincinnati game
—Photo AP/John Raoux
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